Faith Bigger than Fear
by Rachby
Summary: Buffy can't get Faith outta her mind... And it's driving them both nuts! PLEASE REVIEW. If you like it TELL ME WHY. D:
1. Chapter 1

Faith Bigger than Fear

[Disclaimer: I don't own Joss or his works or characters.. But I do love him and I DO like coming up with little plots using elements of the Whedonverse.]

[Author's Note: This is AU. It takes place in Season 3 of BtVS. Angel is in Hell for good. Faith is there and because of her odd connection with Buffy, she has started to back off from the group and is starting to turn bad. It's Buffy's faith in Faith that can bring her back... Fuffy slash.]

Chapter 1

"Faith is like a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark."

It was Friday night and Buffy and Willow were sitting on Buffy's bed, eating pretzels and watching "The Sound of Music".

"I wish I could sing," Buffy said, "If I could sing I'd be a nun and spin around in fields for hours."

"The singing part sounds cool," Willow agreed, as she crunched on a pretzel, "And maybe the field part. But the nun part? That sounds kinda lonely."

"Well eventually Maria meets Mr. VonTrapp and is happy forever raising his 50 million children. Ya know. In Switzerland." The blonde shrugged. "Ya know, I could do that. Swear off men until I meet a nice Naval Officer. Maybe be a Nazi slayer. It would work pretty well, I think."

"Except it's the 90's," Willow pointed out. "And we're in high school."

"Good point."

There was a knock at the door and the girls looked up at Joyce, who was standing in the doorway in her fuzzy pink robe, looking totally tired. "I think I'm going to head to bed, Girls," she said. "Willow are you staying over?"

The redhead criss-crossed her legs in front of her. "Is that okay Ms. Summers?"

Joyce nodded. "Of course. And will you two be... Slaying?"

"I will be," Buffy quipped. "Not Will. She's not a slayer, remember? That's just my cross to bear."

"Sometimes I do back-up," Will replied. "And I'm research girl. I research like nobody's business."

Buffy's mom sighed. "Well I do hope that you two are careful. I can barely sleep knowing that Buffy's out there with those...things."

"If I don't do it," Buffy said, sort of bitterly, "Then there will be a whole lot of other mothers way more worried than you are." Then she took a deep breath. "Anyways we'll be fine. I'm more than capable of handling a few vampires." Then under her breath, she added, "They're the least of our worries anyways."

But Joyce didn't hear her aside, and she looked a little better. "Well I'm off to bed anyways. Promise me you two will.. slay with caution?" It sounded silly, but there really wasn't anything that would sound better. She was just a concerned mother. Buffy couldn't blame her. If she knew the full extend of what the slayer went through, she wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

So Buffy just said, "We promise."

The two friends waited until they were alone again and then Buffy said, "I'm actually supposed to meet Faith at ten. So you might wanna stay here. I think we're going to end up fighting it out."

"What's been UP with her lately?" Willow asked, rolling down the pretzel bag and knocking the crumbs off the bed. "I mean she'd kinda been a.."

"Bitch?" Buffy offered. "I know. I think she's going rougue or something. I can't understand her. Sometimes she's so eager to go out there and slay bad guys that I'm sure she's on our team. But then I get this vibe from her.. Like she doesn't want to just slay vamps... Like maybe she wants to kick my ass. I don't know." She shook her head, and got up. She opened her closet and got out her coat and pulled it over her arms. It was chilly outside and she didn't want the cold air to distract her from slaying.

"Maybe she's possessed," Willow offered and pulled one of Buffy's plush blankets up around her shoulders. "Or maybe she's secretly a vampire. And she's just been hanging out with us trying to infiltrate our group."

"Except we see her all the time in the day light. And she already HAS inflitrated our group. She's as much a member as the rest of us. There's nothing we don't know right now that she doesn't know."

"That's disheartening," the aspiring witch responded, "Especially if she IS possessed."

The slayer checked the clock on her nightstand. 9:50. "I'm going to go now," she said, pulling up her window so she could slide down the roof. "You stay here and don't invite anyone inside."

Willow shrugged. "Okay. But why are you going out of the window? Your mom knows. Can't you use the door? I mean it involves less hopping and stuff."

Buffy paused, one leg out of the window, one still on her window seat. She hadn't really thought about it. "I guess it's just habit," she explained. "See you soon!" Then she slipped out in to the night.

- 


	2. Chapter 2

Faith Bigger than Fear

Chapter 2

"Faith makes things possible... Not easy."

Patrolling on her own was easier. That way, she didn't have to worry about Will or Xan or even Giles getting hurt. She knew that for the most part they could handle themselves. Against one vamp, maybe even two if they worked together. But if they got overwhelmed by two big guys, maybe even one super strong demon, they were toast. And Buffy couldn't focus on staking fiends through the heart, when she was constantly worried that those same fiends were about to rip apart her best friends.

The slayer stepped around the gravestones and waited for a vamp to finish clawing himself out of his own grave. Watching something like that always gave her the wiggins. At first she felt sorry for the guy as he struggled. He shambled out of the hole, pushed aside the fresh dirt and looked up at her, maybe confused for a fraction of a second. But then, once he was on his feet, the same feral hunger took over him that it had all the rest of them. And he snarled at her, his forehead all bumpy, his teeth all sharp and pointy, and he said, "Slayer."

And then instantly, all pity was gone. "Couldn't you have just STAYED dead?" Buffy quipped, and readied her steak. It really was kind of rude that some vamp out there had gone through the trouble of siring the guy, but didn't even care enough to keep him from getting buried. Waking up in a coffin HAD to be a buzz-kill.

"I've been waiting to kill you my entire life!" the vampire said, and lunged at her.

Buffy dodged him nimbly. "For your entire life?" she replied. "So for all of five seconds?"

He growled. Vampire growls were supposed to invoke fear in the heart of humans. But Buffy wasn't a human. Not really. And the growl didn't even make her bat an eyelash anymore. "Tonight I rose," the vamp said, and pushed up the sleeves of the suit he'd been buried in, which was stained with dirt and grass. Obviously he had meant something to SOMEONE. At SOMETIME. "And tonight you DIE." He lunged again, sticking his arms out like some cartoon zombie.

But the slayer had other plans. She spun, and shot out one arm, the point of her stake making perfect contact with the part of the vamp's chest just above his heart. "Actually," she said, as he stared at her completely shocked, "Tonight YOU die. Again." And with the that, the vamp dusted, and all that was left to remember the guy was the disturbed grave and the headstone that Buffy stepped over to continue her patrol.

She wasn't alone for long, though, and before she was ready, arms slid around her from behind and her body tensed.

"Thought you weren't gonna come," a sultry voice said directly into her ear.

Buffy took a jagged breath. She wanted to relax, but she couldn't. Her heart was beating hard in her chest. "I would have been here sooner, but there was this guy and..."

Faith cut her off, spun her around, kissed her passionately. She pushed her hands up to the blonde slayer's shoulders and pulled her jacket down her arms, exposing her upper arms. She broke their kiss, and placed her lips there, making a path down each arm, and then back up. "No worries, B," the brunnete said, and pulled Buffy against her in a tight hug. "Job comes first."

Buffy snuggled against her counterpart's chest and closed her eyes for a minute. "I told Will that I was coming out here to kick your ass," she told her, "Isn't that terrible? I just didn't want her to come along. I really wanted to kiss you."

"Yeah?" Faith traced Buffy's spine with her finger tips. "Why were you going to kick my ass? Not been kissin' you enough..or?"

"No," Buffy smiled. "That's not it. It's just because you've been pulling away from the group."

"I have to, B" Faith said, her voice much more sensitive than and of the other Scoobies knew her for, "I can't handle bein' around you and not bein' all over you." She lifted Buffy's face again and placed a light kiss on her lips. They didn't make out. They had boundaries. Faith knew Buffy's past. She knew about Angel. When she showed up, Buffy was still heart broken over him. She walked around without purpose, swinging out and hitting whatever stepped in front of her fist. But the second Faith started takin' her out, giving her the attention she needed, Buffy perked up. The attraction was instant, but acting on it had taken awhile. They'd only just admitted it a few nights ago, the same time they'd kissed. But damn.. It was amazing.  



	3. Chapter 3

Faith Bigger than Fear

Chapter 3

"Faith leads us beyond ourselves..."

-Flashback-

It was the previous Tuesday night, because everything always happens on Tuesdays. Faith was supposed to meet the Scoobies at the library for a Mayor research session but she didn't show.

Cordelia leaned back in her chair and looked down at her nails, "Looks like Slut-o-Rama had better things to do. Can we go home now?"

"I hate to agree with CC," Xander said, and looked at his secret girlfriend with annoyance. "I REALLY do. But why do we have to be here if she doesn't? I mean, it's kinda unfair. Nothin' big is goin' on other than the Mayor's ascension. And we know when that is. And we can't stop it. And I'm tired."

Giles cleared his throat and laid a book down on the table in the middle of the group of friends. "Faith or no Faith, we still need to be ready. We need to know every possible thing about the Mayor so that we can be properly prepared."

"But we already know he's gonna be a big worm," Oz said. "What else is there to know? The kind of top soil he prefers?"

Willow smiled at her boyfriend. "I mean, I'm with Oz," she said. "Finals are coming up. I could do with more beauty sleep."

The guitarist grinned at her, "But you're already beautiful."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. It was totally annoying when Oz spoon-fed her compliments. But that was probably just because Xander wouldn't do the same thing.

Giles looked to Buffy, who was sitting in a chair with her knees pullled to her chest, looking longing out the window, her mind elsewear. "You've been oddly quiet," he said. "You don't have an opinion to add, do you? Some other reason why we shouldn't do our best to prepare for..."

The slayer glanced up at Giles. "I'm sure she meant to come," she said, kinda out of it.

The watcher's eyebrows lifted. "Hmm?"

"I think she means Faith," Xander provided. "And she's probably right. She probably DID mean to come. But then she got distracted by some leather pants or something."

"Leather pants are pretty distracting," Oz agreed, reaching over to slide his hand into Willow's. "She could be still dealing with said leather pants right now."

Willow giggled, and squeezed Oz's hand. Maybe she would've prefered to be in her bed rather than in the old stuffy Sunnydale High library, but at least Oz was there. Holding her hand. Being so adorable and all that.

"Regardless," Giles told the group. "We need to look over this ancient script and see if we can figure out any of the mayor's weaknesses."

Buffy blinked. Nothing any of the other's were saying was registering. She put her feet on the floor and got up out of her seat, heading swiftly to the door.

"Hey!" Cordelia yelled, "Why does SHE get to leave!?"

Giles spun around and reached out one arm of his tweed coat. "Where are you going?"

"To find Faith," Buffy said, and she was gone.

She knew where Faith would be, because it was the same place she and Faith always met up. It was in front of an old chained up mausoleum. And there she was, wearing some tight blue jeans and a scoop neck tee, leaning against the wrought iron door, looking beautiful.

"Couldn't make it to the meeting," she said, and pushed her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Couldn't deal with all their sarcastic remarks right now. Got a lot on my mind."

"Yeah?" Buffy walked out of the shadow of one of the nearby trees and stood in front of the other slayer, her guard down. "What's on your mind? Me?"

Faith lifted her face, and her eyes searched the blonde's face. "Yeah. You. And a buncha other stuff. It's runnin' me ragged tryin' to be the Mayor's right hand girl and fightin' the good fight all at the same time. Needa break."

"You don't havta work for the Mayor anymore," Buffy said. "We got all our info. You can tell him that you're one of the good guys and that once he's a worm, he's dead meat. Dead..worm meat." She thought about that image a second and then added, "Eww."

The other slayer couldn't help but smile. Bein' around Buffy did that to her. Listening to Buffy make jokes and be grossed out by worms when she walked around shoving pointed woody sticks into dead guys was just funny. But still, she shook her head. "He'd kill me. He'd have me killed. I'd be dead. He's immortal, B. There's no fightin' him. You should see how steamed he gets when I get dirt on his floor."

Buffy walked closer. "I'd protect you," she said. "I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt you. He can take his big immortal worm but and go screw himself. If that's even possible." She shook her head.

"It ain't that easy, B," Faith said, though her heart was beating harder just havin' the blonde slayer that close to her. And hearin' her say that she'd protect her was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. "I gotta stick by him. At least until the big day. I can't risk you gettin' hurt. I wouldn't ever be able to forgive myself if I did."

"Faith," Buffy said. "I'm a slayer. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah," Faith licked her lips. "So can I."

But they were gravitating closer to each other. And Buffy felt herself step closer, and reaching out to touch the other girl's face with her fingers. She'd been wanting to do that very thing for months. When Faith had shown up in Sunnydale, she was so torn up over Angel that she could barely focus on anything else. But the brunette made her laugh. She wore low cut tops and flaunted herself right in front of Buffy. And though Buffy didn't understand it, she felt herself longing to touch the other girl. Now she had, and her fingers walked down Faith's jaw.

"You don't always have to be so strong," Faith said, "There's two of us now, and we can divide the job."

Buffy laughed lightly. "You should tell my mom. She was sure when you showed up that I could just quit."

Faith reached up, spun one of Buffy's curls around her finger, "Hey, you could if you wanted to. I ain't gonna stop you if you wanna run off into the sunset and be a real girl."

"I couldn't do that to you," the blonde said, her voice more of a whisper as she move closer to Faith, her fingertips still sliding down the other girl's face. "Besides, this is my destiny. Into every generation, blablabla."

"But that was before I showed up," Faith pointed out. "Now I'm here."

"And now I'm here," a voice said.

"And me," said another.

The two girls jumped apart and both of them prepared themselves. In front of them stood two beefed up vamps, both of them dressed like lumber-jacks. They exchanged looks.

"Looks like we got two for the price of one," one growled, his hair long and greasy and blonde.

"And they appear to be sweet on each other," the second said, his hair shorter but just as greasy.

"Too bad," the first responded. "Because their little trist ends tonight." He grinned. "And so does their lives. You take one," he said to his buddy, "And I'll take the other."

They leapt then, knocked both girls off their feet. But they weren't down for long. The spun, wrestled them off of them, and then Faith was up and she pulled Buffy back to her feet. Buffy turned and ran to the tree.

"Looks like your girl abandoned you," the long haired vamp said.

"But that's okay," the short haired vamp added. "We'll kill you just the same."

Faith glanced at the other slayer, who was leaping up to yank down a limp from the tree. "Looks like we'll kill YOU just the same," she said. And then she did a round-house kick to the first one's face and shoved her fist into the other one's throat.

Then there came Buffy, sprinting up a branch, jaggedly broken on both ends. She tossed it to Faith who shoved it firmly into one guys chest. Then Buffy kicked the other one, who was still reeling from Buffy's kick to his face, straight onto the stick and both vamps dusted simulataneously. Their dust blew away into the night air and then just as suddenly as they had shown up, they were gone again.

And they were left standing there alone. And Faith couldn't handle it anymore.

"Listen B," she said, "You're hot as Hell. And you make me feel somethin' I know I can't feel."

Buffy cut her off. "Why can't you feel it?" she asked, walking back up to the other slayer, wanting to be just as close to her as she had been before the attack. Her heart was beating really fast and she couldn't tell if it was because of the fighting, or just from being close to Faith. But it didn't matter.

"Because we're slayers. Because I'm under cover workin' for the Mayor."

"But not because we're girls?"

Faith smiled, and she revealed the dimples Buffy just swooned over. "Hey nothin' wrong with two girls bein' together. I just think it'd be kinda distracting meetin' you here when we're supposed to be slayin' and instead we're.." She stopped.

"Instead we're doing what?" Buffy asked.

Faith looked at the other slayer. At her blue eyes and her pouting lips. She liked the way Buffy wore cute little halter tops and jackets and khaki pants with boots. She liked the way Buffy pulled her hair up into loose pony tails. And she definitely liked the way Buffy's chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath mid battle. And at that moment she couldn't stand not doing anything about it anymore. And so she stepped forward, put her hands on either side of Buffy's face and she kissed her. At first Buffy's body tensed, but then after a second, she melted against the other girl and they stood kissing for a long time.

-End Flashback- 


	4. Chapter 4

Faith Bigger than Fear

Chapter 4

"Above all, take up the shield of faith."

Buffy and Faith should have been slaying, but Faith was right- it was hard not being all over each other. All either of them wanted to do was kiss, and at first, Buffy had the self-control to hide her face in Faith's neck and be content to have the other girl stroking her back. But the longer they stood that way, and the more Buffy breathed in the scent of Faith's neck, the more she wanted to kiss her. All they needed was a distraction. Maybe a vamp looking to be slayed, or even a rogue demon bored enough to provoke either of them. But there was no distraction.

"Ain't gonna lie, B," Faith said after a minute, "I really, really wanna kiss you. And the more we stand here not kissin' the more I just wanna shove you down and..."

"And what?" Buffy responded, pulling back a bit to see the other slayer. Her bottom lip stuck out only slighty, making her almost irresistable.

"And.." Faith's eyes flicked all over Buffy's face. "And fuck B. Don't make me say it."

Buffy reached up to Faith and placed a kiss on her lips. It was meant to be a peace offering, but it failed. It absolutely failed. Faith took the other girl in her arms, kissing her firmly, her tongue pushing into her mouth, her hands sliding up her back, her fingers slipping under her shirt, to touch skin. And then her knees buckled, and she pulled Buffy down to the grass, into her lap. And there they sat, with Buffy straddling Faith's waist, her fingers combed through the brunette's hair, sighing into her own mouth.

"I could kiss you all night," Faith expressed as the two caught their breath, "But I think it's late. And you gotta go back to good slayer world. And I gotta go back to bad slayer world."

"You're not a bad slayer" Buffy said, hanging a little above the other girl, her knees in the grass, proping her up.

"I'm the badder slayer," Faith replied. "There's you with your mom and your friends and your house in suburbia. And then there's me. And my shitty apartment. I'm not lookin' for pity, B. It's just true."

"Do you wanna come stay at my house?" Buffy asked, aware of how silly it sounded.

"Isn't Red at your house tonight?"

"Yeah, but.. That..." the blonde slayer placed a kiss on Faith's forehead, "..doesn't..." She kissed her temples, "matter.." and the tip of her nose.

"Or you could come back to my apartment and stay with me," Faith suggested. "And we could..."

"I can't leave Will," Buffy said, reluctantly. "And my mom..."

"Yeah," Faith nodded. "I know."

They both got to their feet. And while Faith dusted off her ass, Buffy tried to readjust her jacket.

"So I'll see you tomorrow," the brunette said, and pushed her hands into the pockets of her pants. "You need me to walk you home?"

Buffy shook her head. "I'm a big girl," she said, "I can handle it."

- 


End file.
